My ex is dating someone new
Your ex is seeing someone else, what now?
First, let’s try to understand what kind of relationship this is. You may not be able to do this every time but you can have an idea about this relationship through social media. I normally recommend to stay clear of your ex partner’s social media but this can be an exception.
Rebound relationship
Your ex may be in a rebound relationship. Someone jumps into this type of relationship to fill the void in their life after breakup. People do not want to be alone and after a long relationship they may be scared to be single again. This new partner can be someone already around your ex and even may already be harbouring romantic feelings towards your ex.
Rebound relationships are usually short lived because they are not built on solid ground and they are rushed. The only real reason for the relationship is filling the void in someone's life. For your ex, this is the void left after you are not together anymore.
Rebound relationships are usually short lived but this short time can be very long for you. You want this person right now and you would panic when you see your ex with someone else. You would feel very bad for a while after finding the new relationship out.
If your relationship was more than 3 months, especially more than 6 months and if your ex is in a new relationship less than 2 months after the breakup, that relationship is most probably a rebound relationship.
Rebound relationships usually last less than 6 months but 6 months may look like 6 years to you. If this would make you feel better, 6 months is an outlier and rebound relationships usually last 2 - 3 months.
But sometimes, your ex would want to prove that this relationship is not a rebound relationship. They would want to prove this to their friends, relatives, you and even themselves. This is stupid but sometimes happens and rebound relationship can last longer than you would expect.
If your ex finds a rebound relationship, this does not show that No Contact Rule is ineffective. It just shows that your ex does not behave like a mature person. If your ex is in a rebound relationship, continue the No Contact Rule. Continue to keep your positive attitude, focusing on yourself and start to go into the dating market.
In most cases if you continue no contact, your ex would soon realize the rebound relationship is nothing like the relationship with you. This would change their attitude towards the new partner and most rebound partners would behave insecure when this happens. This insecurity would cut the rebound relationship short.
So practically, nothing changes for you if your ex partner goes into a rebound relationship. You may just want to speed up the process to find a new partner or go into the dating world to test the waters.
Relationship to make you jealous
Your ex would go into a relationship to make you jealous. They can be doing this just to hurt you even if they have no intention to be back with you. There is no sure way to understand this but usually if you think your ex went into this relationship to make you jealous, you are probably right. And sometimes, your ex may confess that the relationship is to make you jealous. I know it is absurd but quite common.
If your ex is in a new relationship just to make you jealous, you should stop wanting them. It is over. If your ex wants to hurt you like this and play with your (and their new partner’s) feelings, they are probably narcissists. If they ever come back, they would do more to hurt you. They would only behave as if you are a toy or someone to serve them. They don’t deserve you or anyone else. Move on and never look back. Even if they come back, don’t take them back.
Monkey Branching
Sometimes the new partner was already in line when your ex was still with you. Maybe your ex cheated on you or maybe they just flirted a while until they have decided to break up. This is monkey branching. Monkey doesn’t leave a branch before holding onto another one.
I know it is hard to know if the new partner was ready before the breakup or your ex cheated on you. Don’t be paranoid but if this is the case, you need to move on and never look back. This type of people are rarely relationship material and if you accept them into your life again, they would probably do this to you again. Keep your self respect and avoid multiple heart breaks with this person.
To sum up, if your ex is in a new relationship and they deserve a second chance in the future, continue no contact. If you get in touch with your ex or you were already in touch with your ex, you would push your ex more towards their new partner. If you are a plan B or behave like that, there is no reason for your ex to come to you now. Also, there is no mystery and attractiveness on your side so why would your ex want you again?
Pursuing your ex makes them feel like “they are a catch and you are not good enough for them”. Naturally, they will then look for someone who is also a catch and good enough for them. If the new partner is not pursuing and behaving like a person with self respect and confidence, your ex would see this new partner as a better catch.
Don’t forget this: If you still contact your ex and pursue them while they are with someone else, you would soon become a joke. They would make fun of you. You would turn into this desperate, crybaby, creepy stalker ex lover. Maybe they would be in a romantic dinner or bed when you call. This would be so absurd and insulting for you!
And also you are forcing your ex to say negative things about you. “He/she continues to pursue me, I am sick of him/her.” You are forcing them to rehearse why they dumped you with all the good reasons.
Next Chapter Not replying your ex when they reach out
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